Two Months and Recipes

Indeed. Sourced from here :)

There is no recipe for exchange. No matter how hard I try, how much I look for one, or how many people I ask, I still have to ultimately make it all up for myself. I've been trying to face this difficulty - but that's exactly what it is at the moment: difficult. I would never have believed it possible to be in so many mind-sets all at once. In some ways, I can't believe 2 months of my exchange have already passed! 2 WHOLE MONTHS. It's crazy. In others though, they've been the longest two months of my life, and I have no idea how I'm going to get through the next however many. All these feelings spinning around: happy, sad, frustrated, depressed, elated. It's overwhelming!

This year is going to be a huge learning journey for me. I have already learnt so so much about myself, started asking myself ridiculously difficult questions, and have actually really been SEARCHING for an answer, instead of just letting them go. At the moment, I miss myself so much. These last few months have really been about finding myself, who I am, what I can cope with, why I'm here and what I'm doing with my life. Top this off with a new country, language, family (or few), plus old ones of each of these, and it's no wonder I'm exhausted! Finding yourself is a difficult task, which I think most people are never forced to face - or at least so brutally and so early on in life. I keep comparing myself to other exchange students, other people, and their experiences, wondering why I'm not the same, why I can't be like that. But that's the thing. I'm my own person. I need to have my own experiences, my own adventure, my own struggles.

Along my search for wisdom and advice, I came across this website, from which I take the following quote:

"We complain about the cross we bear but don't realize it is preparing for the dip in the road that God can see.

Whatever your cross, whatever your pain, there will always be sunshine, after the rain. 

Perhaps you may stumble, perhaps even fall; but God's always ready to answer your call. 

He knows every heartache, sees every tear, a word from His lips can calm every fear.

Your sorrows may linger throughout the night, but suddenly vanish, dawn early light.

The Saviour is waiting somewhere above, to give you His grace and send you His love. 

God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.

It is so true that people don't want to bear heavy cross. Everyone wants a smooth and less troublesome life but we do not know the deep purpose of everything why we must face challenges, failures, and fears. It is meant by God to prepare us for the future!"

Its little things like this that, piece by piece, make me that little bit calmer. Anything that doesn't kill me will just make me stronger. This post has taken a few days to actually get out into anything close to something that makes sense. A lot's been going on lately, but I'll tell you about that in another blog post within the next few days. I've had my on and off days, mostly off, but everything is slowly getting better. I find little bits of reassurance each day, which are gradually building.

I don't really feel like I have much else to write at the moment. I thought that I should commemorate the 2 months I've been here with a post, but I promise I will write more within the next few days, because I have so so much to catch up on!  Even though this may not be the typical exchange experience blog (trust me - I was expecting it to be more so too!), this is what my exchange is about at the moment, so that's what I'm writing about. Wishing everyone out there well!

Bussi!