Re-Entry And Reflections

As I said in my last post, I spent last weekend at my 'half-way' seminar for exchange. I was thinking about writing a nitty-gritty re-cap of the whole weekend, but I decided that wouldn't necessarily be the best way to look over it and it probably wouldn't be all that enthralling for the majority of people reading it!

So I want to talk about the highlights and my feelings about it all and reflect over the weekend and the past few months I've been here.

Arriving at the station in Micheldorf, we were faced with a hike up the mountain to the beautiful castle Burg Altpernstein. It was a really cloudy day, but the castle floating in the clouds looked so romantic! It's a pretty strenuous walk but like last time it was beautiful, plus the hour gives us a wonderful chance to talk with the other students and see some of the country side.

An amazing sunset from the castle looking over the valley...

Our home for the weekend! Burg Altpernstein

A bit more of the castle

Over the weekend, I was lucky enough to meet the rest of the exchange students here in Austria from my organisation. It was wonderful to become friends with them and get to know each of them a little better, but also to strengthen the friendships I already had. The connection that exchange students have with each other is literally beyond words. I can't describe it. Thrown together from all corners of the world all speaking different languages, you have this ginormous part of your lives in common with each other. For me, the feeling of connection I have with some of these people is stronger than the connection I feel with some of the people back home, whom I have known for years. Being in this group, you know what is going through the hearts and minds of these people. You know the hardships, the joys, the huge mountains which feel like you'll never be able to slowly climb over. And they'll always be there to lend an ear, a shoulder, a hug. Some of these people I would probably have never had become friends with if we'd met in a "normal" situation. Sometimes they can be frustrating. Sometimes you want to hit your head against the wall from the things that they say or do. But other times it's like you have this magical connection. They know when words just aren't enough and you just need a hug. They know that if you want to do something, there's no point in being scared doing it, because the worst thing that can happen isn't actually of any consequence. Running down hills crazily. Talking to people in another language. Asking questions. Proudly acting like a kid. Living life to the fullest.

Awesome new friends!

Because that's what life (and Austria) is for!

One of my favourite things of the weekend was realising the power of language. I know I mentioned something like that briefly in my Croatia blog post, but it really hit so much more over this weekend. There were students represented from the following countries:

• Australia - 3
• America - 1
• Estonia - 2
• Finland - 2
• Mexico - 1
• Brazil - 1
• Moldova - 2
• Sweden - 1
• Japan - 2
• Switzerland - 1
• Belgium - 1
• Norway - 1
• Thailand - 1
• (And of course Austria) - Many!

And our one main language in common was (and is) German. For some reason everyone could speak English as well (seems like the whole world can - almost literally...) but the best way to communicate with each other was German. And what an amazing feeling. I now have friends who have come from all over the world, and being able to communicate with them through a language, which isn’t our own, is just unbelievable. The longer I am here the more I realise the immense power that language has on the world and communication, and the more excited I am about learning.

Because it was a re-entry seminar for the majority of the exchange students, that was the topic we focused on the whole weekend. Each day we were rotated into separate groups to talk, and complete different activities. We asked and answered questions, we wrote down thoughts and beliefs, we learnt how to keep going. In one of the first groups we each had to write down 10 things we want to take with us from this year in our imaginary suitcase. Then we got into pairs and had to narrow it down to 10 together, then 5, then 10 as a whole group. My 10 things were:

1. Language
2. Friendships
3. Independence
4. Positivity
5. Memories and Stories
6. Music
7. Confidence
8. Understanding
9. Patience
10. God

It was interesting to see the things other people came up with, and our final list consisted of Relationships, Culture, Language, Experiences and Self Development. In another group we had to draw a river of our year (although, only 5 months for us Aussies). Rocks were struggles, maybe there was a dam, maybe the rocks were bigger at some points and smaller at others. Maybe there was rain, but then came beautiful flowers, trees and like a fish in water, we would keep swimming. We compared ourselves with how we were at the beginning, to how we are now and how our attitudes and tastes have changed. It was things as simple as our favourite foods and drinks, way to dress, music, subjects, hobbies, down to how we interact with our family(/ies), who the people who most inspire us are, those who's opinions we value the most and our "life philosophy". And we learnt how to say thank you to all our families and friends, and places we have come to know. Of course I'm not saying goodbye quite yet, but it really opened my eyes as to what this year is all about, and how I can make the next however many months really work for me.

Words can't describe... One of the castle terraces.

A lot of the weekend wasn't spent in complete seriousness and we had quite a lot of free time together, which was so much fun. I had the strangest feeling at some points. I remembered what it was like to have friends. Before you scorn - read. A lot of you probably know that it's been difficult for me to make friends and that I often feel lonely. Well lately I've just come to accept that feeling and it's not as hard for me to be away from everyone and spend so much time on my own. But this weekend I was able to be myself, feeling like I didn't have to impress anyone - that I could be sad if I wanted, or as mad as a hatter. Admittedly I chose the latter, and I felt like myself for one of the first times this year. It was a nice feeling.

Another roaring sunset

Free time was spent talking, playing crazy 'drama' games - as well as chess, cards, table tennis and soccer, basketball (... the ball may or may not have been thrown over the cliff...), listening to music, playing guitar, singing, dancing, and on Friday I went for a wonderful walk with Molly in the woods. It was awesome to have someone with talk to about anything we wanted, and I think she's a really special person :) It was a BEAUTIFUL walk and the area is absolutely amazing. The woods are so beautiful, and we even stumbled across WILD STRAWBERRIES (they don't exist in Australia!), lots of snails, and a snake (but we don't know if it was actually a snake... that was just while we were poking round in the strawberries, so we left it alone). Awesome.

Just casually playing basketball in a castle courtyard

Hut in the woods; proudly adorned with an Austrian flag (aka a trail marker)

WILD STRAWBERRIES!!

I never thought I would have the chance to see something so beautiful.

"It's 2am here now. DEFINITELY sleep time. But I wish I could stay here with these people forever. I'm in a castle. In the middle of Austria. The moonlight's washing in through the windows and I can hear a bunch of the kids still downstairs screaming with laughter. Life is so beautiful."

Me on the terrace - long live living!

Five And A Video

It's been a crazy hectic few weeks and it's getting harder and harder to find the time and motivation to write blog posts up! I know they don't need to be as comprehensive as I make them, but that's just me. I don't feel like I've done anything particularly note-worthy since I last wrote except for these three things:

1. I went with Nine to Krems to check out a potential host family for one of the inbound students coming in December. The son of the family (16) is going to Canada on exchange later this year and it was fascinating for me to see the excitement of the whole family. In so many ways I just wanted to say "YES! You'll have an amazing time, but it's not all perfect, it's the hardest thing you'll ever do! Lose all your expectations!!" and it made me realise how far I've already come. More on that in a bit. It was really interesting for me to see the process of how host familys are 'scanned' though, and the total excitement felt by them.
2. I had the Spring Concert with my Musikkapelle on the Sunday 29th of May which was an incredible experience but very overwhelming at the same time. I WILL write more about Musikkapelle soon!
3. From 2nd June - 4th June I had my HALF WAY SEMINAR with all the other exchange students (for whom it was the Re-Entry Seminar) in Austria from my organisation, even though it's not quite half a year. The five month mark is today - 150 days exactly and I'm actually rather amazed! I've been through so much and I can't decide if it's past ridiculously fast or slow.

I was planning to write one of my hugely long, usual posts, but one of my new best friends Molly made a video which just sums up how I feel right now. She's the exchange student from America who came in August last year, and is leaving soon. So all I can do is put that here because it's the best way to describe how I'm feeling.

P.S. I may have been a little crazy on the weekend. Yes I laugh at snail sex and dance like an idiot. :D

Being Orientated...

I have so many other things to write about which happened before this weekend, but I think at the moment it's really important for me to write all this down. Be prepared for a very long post! This last weekend - from Friday night 18/2 till Sunday arvo 20/2, I went to a YFU orientation seminar in Micheldorf, Upper Austria. So I caught the train from Salzburg to Linz about 2pm on Friday, then in Linz I met up with Jess - one of the other Aussie exchange students, and we rode to Micheldorf together, arriving at the train station about 4.45.

I was in a compartment (LIKE IN HARRY POTTER!) by myself from Salzburg to Linz, until this guy came along with a mate of his. They were pretty amusing, but got frustrating because they started playing their German hip-hop and were being very loud. This guy was playing doodle jump on his phone though, which amused me!

In Micheldorf we met the other two Aussie exchange students - Katherine and Brandon, the four Austrian returnees who had come back from exchange 6 weeks ago, and a couple of the 'orientation coordinators', who are all pretty young, and went on exchange a few years ago.

We chucked our bags in the car, then all walked for about an hour up a lovely hill. Slash Alp. While it was snowing. It was actually quite nice, but exhausting. I hadn't realised how much I miss going for long walks, with a purpose - rather than just wandering around villages... So I actually didn't mind. Our destination was ... Burg Altpernstein! Burg Altperstein is a really awesome old castle where our orientation was held. Which, you know, parts of are from the 1300s... It's been totally renovated in the inside, and is now used for orientations and the such, but mostly as a Catholic youth centre kind of thing... So we rushed in and went straight to dinner, which was garlic soup, something unidentifiable but delicious, and salads. Then we went up many, many steps and sat around talking and generally meeting each other. Lisa (one of the leaders - more on her later :P ) brought a guitar, so there was a bit of singing, which was good, but... They started playing 'Take Me Home, Country Roads', and I just had to get up and leave. I just started crying and crying. That song really means a lot to me, and my family, but I can't explain.

The Saturday was really great. I didn't sleep very well at all on Friday night (ever since I moved to Salzburg, I wake up a few times each night. It's really draining.) so I was really tired, but it was ok. After brekkie, we split up into two groups - the inbounds and the rebounds - to talk about stuff. The first thing we did was get into pairs and write down 5 facts about each other in German, and then read them out to the group. Then we each drew an 'Energie Kuchen' or an 'energy pie chart', splitting up our days into what took up all our energy. So things like sleeping, school, walking, family, friends, hobbies, computer etc. Then we had to do one with the same kind of idea, except for from when we were in Australia. It was really interesting to see the difference, and I would suggest to other exchange students to do this! I slept a LOT less in Australia, but was always less tired. I spent a large majority of time playing music, dancing, going out with friends and things in Australia, but now I hardly do ANY music, have gone to salsa once, and have basically no friends. It's a huge difference, and really makes you see where the problems lie. The next thing we did was a little 'mood graph', where we graphed our moods from since before we left Australia, then up to the current point. I was amazed at how SUPER up and down it was. Australia was like 'WOOOOOHHHH' way up there. And then the flight was way down the bottom. Then I arrived and was excited, so it went up to halfway. And then I collapsed and it went down again... I went to school and had my final days in Vienna and it climbed! Then I became really homesick and culture shocked, and it hit rock bottom. No wonder I'm so tired. No one can deal with such a rollercoaster ride of emotions. It's so hard to handle.

We had a little lunch, and admired the castle and the view a little bit after that:

View out one of the castle windows. AMAZING, oder? We walked up that hill...

This is Winter. Don't complain about being cold in Australia!

So I do feel pretty lucky for being able to see these things. It's a beautiful country - but I can only really see it when I'm happy!

In the next session we had write down all our problems and difficulties and differences on individual little pieces of paper. We then took it in turns (often in a very messed up order!) to read out one of our pieces, explaining it, and occasionally discussing it. It didn't matter how small or ridiculous it was - they were all there! I wrote everyone's down on my own piece of paper for my own reference - and they were:

• Toilets - most of the toilets here have a kind of shelf, instead of going straight into the water... It was a little weird at first, but doesn't really bother me... :P
• Jesus and Maria are EVERYWHERE! Seriously. You'll be walking along, minding your own business, when suddenly - there's Jesus, chilling on a cross! Or Maria, praying in a cage... It's kind of cool, but was hard to get used to at first!
• Feeling stupid in school
• Drinking milk - I drink A LOT of milk in Australia... and not so much here :(
• Shop trading hours - no shops are open on Sunday, bank times are inconvenient, and a lot of the small shops close for an hour around lunch.
• Pressure on appearances and weight - it's a lot bigger in Europe...
• Really salty food, strong flavours, lots of meat and TONS of butter. I'm surprised not everyone's dying of high cholesterol here...
• Maturity levels and how different they are, and how much they can vary. Most people seem to be a lot older than their Aussie counterparts
• Same goes for age, really...
• Various host family problems...
• Misconceptions about Australia (but I just find these hilarious) - I will do more on this some other time...
• Making friends
• Having nothing to say or talk about - lack of communication and expressing yourself!
• Dialects! Drivin' me a'crazy! And Austrian slang under these...
• Meal times! They're super strict. Breakfast not so much, but no matter what time you end up having breakfast (even if it's at 10), lunch is at 12. Dinner is at 7. Everywhere. Too much organisation!
• Bluntness and openness about personal issues/whatever. They don't care about their bodies (well, they do) but they'll happily strip in the change rooms like nothings different, carrying on conversations. Or talk and ask about your weight. It's rather blunt...!
• Language... so many things...
• Understanding and miscommunication
• Trying to balance on the line of doing lots of things, but still being able to sit in your room, relax and do nothing.
• HUGS. This is a HUGE issue for all us students. Austrians just don't hug. They like to talk about their feelings, but not express them physically. I never realised it was such a huge difference, but I've spoken about my feelings more here than ever before. In Australia, you just have a big, long, understanding hug, and it's ok. And I really miss that. 
• Radio: On: All the time. And everyone knows all the songs. I can now say I know all the words to 'Barbra Streisand'. Oh wait... But they play everything from the latest, dreadful pop songs, to the golden oldies like Dire Straights...
• Having the motivation to learn German. It's hard. You spend a whole day surrounded by it, that by the time you get home, you just don't want to learn any more...
• Having the patience to get along with a lot of different people
• Smoking and drinking. There's a lot of it. Especially smoking. Everywhere.
• The Austrian rubbish system. I really don't understand what's so confusing about it, but everyone else thought it was...
• The difficulties of catching public transport when you have NO idea where you're going or how to speak German. Fun!
• Waking up so damned early for school! In the dark! Grr.
• Still feeling like such a tourist and feeling ashamed about it. Yup.

So it's a very long list. But it was great to get it out, and talk all the problems through with people who could totally empathise. That evening, we had a 'free' evening to bond, have fun, chat, sing, go for a walk and do nothing. The walk was amazing, in the snow, in the dark. And we built some snowmen! (Sally... :D)

Me looking a little scary, building my snowman :)

SNOWMEN! Mine's the one in the middle. I didn't have time to find a mouth :( I was too busy making perfect spheres!

 I am in love with these Austrians:

I spent a lot of the evening talking to a 17-year-old girl called Lisa, who is from Austria and went to Australia for exchange two years ago. She is one of the most (and absolutely) inspiring people I've ever met. She's so Aussie now, that I almost forgot she was Austrian! She told me about a lot of her experiences and about a lot of troubles which she had. I felt like she really, really understood what I was going through and talking about, because she'd actually been to Australia and knows the huge differences there can be. She spoke about understanding. She said the first few weeks were awesome, but for about 3 months afterwards she hit rock bottom, then of course it went up because it couldn't go anywhere else. Of course there were still ups and downs, but it was overall an upward curve. She said the first 6 months are work. They really are. They're harder than any job you'll ever do in your whole entire life. And they can really, really suck. It's hard. "It's really shit, bloody hard!" But the last 6 months are awesome. She said people won't come to you, and you need to throw yourself in there. She really understood some of the HUGE differences - how laid back and outgoing Aussies are, the huge change in school and subjects, the way boys hang out with girls in Australia, the love of sport. It was hard hearing it all. It kind of made me more homesick. But I just can't wait to get back. Australia's the best!

No matter how alone I feel, now more than ever before, I'm not. I have the support of people who are here and understand - which makes all the difference. EVERYONE believes in me. They're ALL sure I can get through, even people I've only known for 2 days. I'm honestly amazed they can still see that strength in me, because I've kind of lost sight of it. I need to find it again.

In the end. This was the best time I've had since my farewell party in Australia on the 3rd of Jan. I didn't want to go home. It was great being with people I could REALLY talk to, and reminded me of the old days of school camps in Oz. It was just so much fun, and I miss it all. I know my exchange needs to continue though...

Bis Später...