Because I've moved around quite a bit, I am already at my third school within four months, and they haven't been easy transitions. I'll start with this.
I always wanted to be the new girl. You watch all these American movies or TV shows about the new girl going to high school. Sure, she may have some difficulties at first, but it's always exciting. She's interesting, no one knows where she came from, where she fits in. I always thought it would be an exciting adventure to be "the new girl" as they always make it out to be (yes, you may think I'm a little ridiculous). And I think in some ways it IS (and has been) exciting, but once again I may have had a few over-the-top expectations, and a few things that were not expected, or simply didn't exist:
- I'm not going to an English-speaking school. In a lot of ways that makes me MORE interesting, but it also makes it REALLY hard to make friends. You're of interest to people for the first couple of days, maybe weeks, but then it becomes normal, they have better things to do than try and strike up conversations. YOU have to talk to people. And when you literally don't know how to talk to people, that gives you a great disadvantage.
I thought I would be the same person when I came here. I would have called myself happy, positive, outgoing and friendly. Ready to talk to people if they wanted to, and ready to strike up a conversation. When I left I realised just how many people cared for me though, and started wondering why I was actually leaving. But then I remembered: I've watched exchange students before - being the centre of attention, supposedly so happy, surrounded by 'friends' - and I'm sure some of them were! But some of them were probably just crying inside wishing for their own friends, their own school, their own language. It's amazing how well some people can hide their emotions. - Too much of a good thing. Being the new girl once was pretty exciting. Very daunting at the same time, but still exciting. Twice was pretty good because I knew more of what to expect, but it was really hard to do everything all over again. Three times was horrible. I knew I wouldn't make instantaneous friends, I'd already made friends in my last school and didn't want to leave them and the comfort I was just starting to find with them. It's not fun.
- I never realised just how much of an impact being a twin would make on my life. I was never the girl alone in the corner - I always had Tim. I never had to figure out how to make friends quickly - I always had Tim to wait with me until the time came. And it's simply a lot easier when EVERYONE'S new (i.e. Primary School [but as if that even counts] and High School). So I never really formed this survival technique of making friends for myself without the support of another. And that's been the hardest part for me.
I've never spent so much time "on my own" before. I've never had to catch the bus home without knowing there was someone to share my day with somewhere. I've always had someone to laugh at teachers or fellow students with, to help with homework, to just be there. And that's a huge thing to be without so suddenly after 18 years, when I now need to speak German with everyone and when all of my family is on the other side of the world. I know that having to experience that all by yourself is just totally normal life for basically everyone else my age - and I am well aware that we wouldn't have spent the rest of our lives together, but that doesn't mean it's not hard!
- School One: BG Ödenburger Straße
- School Two: BORG Straßwalchen
- School Three: BORG 20 Brigittenauer Gymnasium
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